If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
I'm not short, I'm fun-sized.
My bed and I love each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
I put the 'pro' in procrastination.
Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
The early bird can have the worm, I’ll sleep in.
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach ads.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.
Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch.
Truly reflect when you embrace change.
Only believe when you chase love.
Only act when you feel lost.
Truly smile when you embrace change.
Always believe when you feel lost.
Sometimes act when you embrace change.
Only reflect when you embrace change.
Never act when you feel lost.
Sometimes dream when you seek answers.
Truly dream when you seek answers.
Always act when you feel lost.
Always dream when you embrace change.
Sometimes reflect when you chase love.
Never act when you embrace change.
Never act when you chase love.
Only act when you embrace change.
Always reflect when you embrace change.